Tag Archives: entitlement

A Boomer Loves Us!

So this is highly unusual, but I am publishing my second article in as many days for the first time in the short history of this blog. Yes, give me a trophy, I’m a millennial after-all. Why am I posting a new piece so quickly you ask? Because I’ve just had one of those moments that every person, every writer, loves – a moment of immense inspiration and hope.

I don’t get this feeling often, it’s a rare thing. And I’m running with this feeling now because writing can sometimes be a slog. It can be tough to remain motivated in this millennial blogging space because so much of what is thrown at us is very negative. It’s my job to remain up-to-date on the latest writing by, for, and about millennials. I wouldn’t be a proper millennial blogger if I didn’t. That includes the pieces published at media outlets that are usually unflattering, and exist just to tell me how lazy and deluded I am, and how no one will ever hire me – you hear that? EVER!

You know how a common unwritten rule in columnist-circles is don’t read the comments. Well reading all of these negative millennial pieces that are published every few months, or weeks, online is basically the same as reading the comments. You try to not let it get to you but overtime it does, because there is so much of it. It’s like a wall of propaganda trying to convince us how worthless we really are. Easy to brush off once, twice, ten times – but eventually it eats at you a bit.

That’s on top of the daily mental grind of trying to find work. Sometimes after writing the 6th or 7th personalized cover letter of the day, in which every detail is self-scrutinized over and over, writing a new piece for the ole blog is the last thing I want to do. But blogging is part of the process of finding work, so reading the negativity comes with the territory. 

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Millennials want to work with boomers that are interested in problem solving. We’re not interested in lectures about how lazy you think we are.

This brings me to the reason I’m so ecstatic at this very moment. Out there, in the ether, there is a baby boomer that loves us. Out there, somewhere, there is a boomer that gets it. And today I found him, his name is Cary Tennis. For those unfamiliar with his work, Cary is the advice columnist for Salon. I’m not the type to read advice columns but I often find myself on Cary’s because his answers always seem to connect to larger issues at play.

And today he did not disappoint with his answer to a distraught reader. As an aside, Millennials, Unite! – the headline of today’s column reminds me of the Bob Marley classic Africa Unite, also inspirational and arguing the same point, albeit for a completely different issue – organize organize organize.

The question Cary responds to, in part, reads:

Lately I have spent more and more time asleep, and I know this isn’t normal. I do it because it is far better to be asleep and unaware of my failures and fears, than to be reading how I am not good enough for people to pay me even poverty wages.
I have a wonderful family and they are supportive. But I am also 30, and feel I was lied to my whole life when I was told from childhood, “Go to school, work hard, get the best grades — and a great job will be waiting for you.”

Cary’s response to this millennial – who I empathize with to a great degree – is very empathetic itself. It’s practical, really cuts through all the crap, and gets to the bottom line. It’s brilliant. I obviously won’t post the entire response (go read it for yourself. No really, do it. I’ll wait. I’ll even include another link.)

Back? These are the highlights of Cary’s response:

It begins with the statement of a mass grievance: You were sold a bill of goods. You were lied to. You were swindled. There are millions like you. Why are they not in the streets? If they were, things would be different. There is a political and historical context for this.
Your condition is not unique; it is general. You are part of a class of people to whom this has happened. As such, you have political power.

And a few paragraphs later…

It’s as simple as that. So if you do not demonstrate by the hundreds of thousands, if you do not disrupt markets and streets, if you do not unite with other millennials and refine your message so that it reaches the people who need to be reached, then you will have been robbed and you will have done nothing about it.

When I read this I was sort of shocked. A boomer that’s actually not calling us lazy, entitled, spoiled, idiotic, high-expectation having, deluded, fools? This can’t be real, I must have fallen through some trans-dimensional portal to a world where people actually empathize with other people, and generally try not to be jerks.

Further, here’s a boomer that’s actually trying to help us solve a real problem instead of jumping on a high horse and castigating us for “not taking personal responsibility.” The questioner openly admits to sleeping more and more, most likely a sign of depression – full disclosure I’m not a doctor. Instead of shouting down at the person for being “lazy,” Cary genuinely wants them to get help for their issue. And he implores them to find free resources for that help – no snark, no judgement needed.

Want to know the quickest way to have someone shrink from the world and never find a solution to their problem? Tell them they’re worthless by listing all they do wrong. Cary never does that. Yet he still challenges the reader, and challenges every millennial in the same boat as that reader, to do the only thing that’s really left to do – form a coalition and demand changes.

In a larger sense this does two things, it changes the status quo through politics and policy, and it always ends up employing a large amount of people for the movement. If you have nothing else to do because you can’t find a full-time job, organizing is a full-time opportunity that provides many of the same benefits – networking, organizational skills, logistical skills, discipline, people skills, and more. If you are indeed lucky enough to get paid for organizing the pay probably won’t be good, rarely is it good. But you may end up making the same amount of money as you would working part-time as a barista. And you’ll gain work and life experience that would presumably payoff down the road.

Networking is probably the greatest benefit because individuals within a movement will start their own businesses, employ others in the movement, partner with others, connect their peers to other resources and opportunities. Organizing is both a means to an end (how we typically think about it), but also an end in itself. There are probably dozens of start-ups that were founded from the dust of the Occupy Movement, probably thousands of friendships and partnerships forged in the heat of that nonviolent battle.

Creating a sustainable millennial movement together is a solution to many of the personal problems millions of young people face. There are too many people like that reader, too many people like myself, too many unemployed, too many underemployed, too many stuck living with their parents, too many grinding, too many without opportunity, too many suffocating under the weight of student loans. There are too many of us out there, but just enough for a movement.

So we need more writers like Cary that support us. We need more boomers that love us.

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The Process of Letting Go of Entitlement

Hi loyal readers and new readers. I’ve been on a bit of a hiatus for the past four months as I finished up my final semester of graduate school. Lots of sleepless nights slung over a keyboard, sipping coffee, while crying. The pain paid off and I finished my Action Report, graduating with my master’s in public administration two weeks ago. So for the last two weeks I’ve been recharging and trying to shift modes from academia to beginning my career journey in earnest.

Before I continue I’d like to take a moment to acknowledge fellow millennial blogger Erin for providing inspiration for this post with her article today over at Broke Millennial.

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My amazingly supportive family. No, that’s not Al Roker.

In truth, I really began my career journey nine months ago in December, 2012 when I made a few critical decisions.

  • Start creating content

  • Start applying heavily for jobs to get in the habit of career searching

  • Try to network as best I can, especially with people in New York

These were my preliminary goals, as I knew my journey as a student would be winding down. The way I created content was by starting this blog. It was a rough first few weeks (as you can tell with my first few posts), but over the next few months I think I grew into my voice as a blogger, something I had never even attempted before. As my writing grew stronger my desire to keep writing grew. I was writing roughly one to two 800+ word posts per week and loving it. But eventually that started to take a toll in terms of interfering with my academic work, which is why I basically took a leave of absence knowing that the small following this blog has garnered may be lost in the process. But creating something that I could call my own, and executing on a plan, was extremely satisfying. It also opened up access to a world of mini-bloggers that I didn’t even know existed previously. In fact, it was fellow blogger Rachel Gall that opened up her built-up network of young bloggers. When this happened I think I finally began to “get it.”

Granted, I started to understand this at a much much later date than most of my peers, but better late than never, as they say. This thing that I was beginning to understand is that consistently creating stuff, anything, is how to gain access to networks. Now, as I’ll discuss in an upcoming post, this is clearly not the only factor in networking, not at all, but it is important. Content grants access to networks and networks provide collaboration, and career, opportunities.

Seems pretty simple but this is not something that was ever described to me. Standard advice is just “to network;” well that doesn’t mean anything if it’s not placed in context. My conception of networking was as an event that took place in a tacky hotel conference room with thousands of complete strangers exchanging business cards. These formal networking events do take place, and I don’t want to knock people that attend these as I’m sure they work for them. But what I never understood was the informal networking process that goes on in everyday life, and this informal process is what mainly drives networking:

A co-worker introduces you to a family member in a specific industry. A college buddy’s girlfriend works for a company looking for someone with the skill-set you have, someone at your gym is the founder of a start-up, and the scenarios can continue. This is how most networking occurs and is probably the most successful type of networking. And this is something I’ve largely ignored up until now, but realize I need to change if I’m to begin my career.

Part of the problem is that I’ve always treated my personal life as personal, and academia and professional lives as something entirely different. So when I met someone new I instantly put them in a box of either potential friend, or potential colleague – I guess I never heeded the advice to not put people in boxes either. Well naturally doing this people-in-boxes thing hampered my ability to network because my colleagues were placed at arms lengths, while I never viewed my personal contacts as potential resources. There has always been something icky to me about thinking of personal friends as potential resources. What I realize now is that people in the white-collar world almost entirely network via personal connections and these “personal resources.” Again, I’ll get into the problematic nature of this in an upcoming post; but what makes this relevant in this post is that I’m learning how to approach the world as it is, not how it ought to be. And this gets into the issue of entitlement…

Those that are entitled don’t approach the world as it is, but how they think it ought to be, for them. Example of my own entitlement – and why I named this blog Entitled Millennial – is that I worked hard and completed graduate school, so I approached the world thinking that’s all I should have to do to land a decent job. Academically, I accomplished even more than what was expected of me so I internalized the idea that because of this I was entitled to a job in my profession. Check out my early posts and this is precisely what I discussed – feel free to cringe if you want.

Maybe, in an ideal world, that’s all it would take. But that’s not the world we live in, and coming to terms with that reality has been the hardest thing to figure out. I’m still in the process of coming to terms with this. That shiny new master’s degree I’m so proud of is really not all that valuable. And no one beyond me, and my immediate family, really cares about my academic achievements, employers certainly don’t. If I’m going to get to where I want to go I’m going to have to learn/utilize skills I’m not great at, networking being one of them.

Fortunately for me, by deciding to branch out and create content, as cliche as blogging has become, it’s given me a mini-portfolio. And more importantly, creating content has granted me access to a network of like-minded, twenty-something bloggers just trying to figure out how to get by. This mini-network may, or may not, lead to great opportunities, but the enjoyment I get from interacting with this group makes creating content worthwhile. And beyond that, I think interacting with this group is providing an effective antidote for my entitlement.

By the way, even if I do get over my entitlement issues, the name of this blog will never change. It’s too catchy, and click-bait worthy. And with that, I’d like to announce that Entitled Millennial is back in business, hiatus officially over. I’ve got some really interesting content lined up for all of you, and I hope you’ll stayed tuned and engage in the comment section.

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I’m a Millennial, I’m Unemployed, and I am Entitled

For the past fifteen years, my generation has been surveyed and observed, our attitudes and beliefs dissected and analysed, and our character both questioned and praised. Dozens of books have been written about us, hundreds of articles published, and entire nightly news segments devoted to trying to unlock the mysteries of the largest generation since the Baby Boomers. Every possible descriptor has been attached to Millennials. We are the technologically savvy generation, yet the distracted. We are the multi-taskers, yet the unfocused. We are the social generation, yet more isolated. Highly educated, but lack skills. Independent minded, yet coddled and entitled.

Entitled, this description always stuck out because it’s a sort of parasitic pejorative that’s latched onto twenty-somethings, and like a self-fulfilling prophecy saps the energy out of its’ host and offers nothing in return. The term has been brandished and utilized like a knife by the media, by angry parents who have their adult children living back home, and even by some academics. You can almost hear the glee in the voices of older folks that use it, patting themselves on the back for being model citizens in their youth and stewards of a traditional America where 9 to 5 was a religion. ‘They didn’t expect things to be easy, they paid their dues like everyone else, they never felt entitled!’

Entitled. Entitlements. These are some of the ugliest terms in America; a way of segregating the hard workers from the lazy mooches. If you’re labeled entitled, you might as well kiss any respect you may of had out the window. One may think there is no escaping the term, that twenty-somethings are destined to become labeled “the entitled generation” in the history books; but a funny thing has been happening over the past few years, Millennials are now writing their own narratives and telling their own stories. Gone are the days of Baby Boomers and Gen Xers telling our story for us in the op-ed section of a newspaper, the pages of a journal, or a well produced television show. We’re invading your newsrooms, your businesses, bureaucracies, non-profits, and we will be shaping your opinions for the next four decades and as such it’s time to flip the script on what being entitled means, it’s time to embrace it as both an apt and a positive descriptor of Millennials.

(Some) Millennials like myself feel entitled to things like careers that fulfill us, work/life balance, and jobs where we feel like we’re actually contributing, not because we refuse to work but because we have already earned some of these “benefits.” We are overwhelmingly the most educated generation in American history. While it’s important to note that not every millennial has had the opportunity to attend college or even graduate high school, the efforts that previous generations put in to give opportunity to a more diverse swath of the American population has paid off and more and more Americans of my generation have seized that opportunity and run with it.

We grew up hearing that education was the most important thing, that if we worked hard in school from a very young age through college that we’d have access to the American dream. Many of us come from great primary schools (many of us don’t), and many of us have gone to college, earned multiple degrees, and even gone on to graduate school, completing these degrees at younger and younger ages. Most millennials, whether a college student or not, have held multiple jobs. Millennials may very well be the most hardworking and accomplished generation before the age of 30 than any previous generation. What does this hard work get in return? Derision and snark by our elders, our work is never enough. Yes we have been given great opportunity, but with that opportunity we’ve been given great expectations from a young age and we’re under constant pressure to not only match but surpass these expectations. It’s not enough to go to college, one must earn an engineering or finance degree. It’s not enough to have one internship, we must have several.

For the hard work we’ve already put in we are entitled to certain aspects of the American dream, we’re entitled to good jobs with livable wages. We are willing to give up salary for greater flexibility in managing our time between work and our personal lives, and we’re entitled to having our voices respected. We’ve lived up to our expectations thus far, it’s time for the expectations we have of our country to be met. The feeling of entitlement is the natural end result after years of doing our best. True that in the real world, there are no prizes for just trying, but we’re not looking for a trophy, we’re looking for jobs.

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